Instead, focus on showing that you care by asking simple questions and letting them know you’re happy to see them when they come home from an outing or school, etc.
Don’t be quick to judge kids or throw in the towel when they mess up. They may act out as they try to deal with these emotions. Encouraging creative outlets, such as journaling or coloring, may help them work through what’s going on inside. It may also be helpful to speak with someone outside the family, someone who has experience working with kids.
Make sure that how you’re behaving in front of the kids is representing how you would prefer they behave as well. You can show them it’s OK to cry and express emotions in a healthy way. This can show them a better way to handle their feelings – not bottling them up or acting out.
Time is important too. You need to be available to kids, especially in this situation. They need to feel cared about, even if they don’t say it or act like they don’t want it. They need to know they’re wanted and loved. Not only make time for them, but also compliment and encourage them. This can help them feel better about themselves and also may help them feel more comfortable talking with you.
It’s a hard road ahead, but there is hope. Instead of focusing what you can’t do, start looking for what you can do and how to move forward with positivity.
[Monalisa Johnson is a licensed and ordained minister of the gospel and a certified life coach as well as a mother and entrepreneur. In no way is anything that she writes, speaks or shares considered medical advice or clinical therapy. Consider all that you receive to be life coaching and guidance.]
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